Joy

Have you ever been in one of those moods where you just feel really happy for no reason at all? Have you ever felt that even though you may have things going on in your life, but have peace and happiness in your heart? That my friends, is joy.

joy

  

noun

1.

the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure;elation.

2.

a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something orsomeone greatly valued or appreciated.

3.

the expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety.

4.

a state of happiness or felicity.

The emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying. That's a really good definition of how I've been feeling lately! Ever since last Sunday when missionaries Gary and Janice Dickinson from the Congo came to speak, I've had such joy and peace within me. It's amazing! Gary's message about giving our all to God and going after Him was a big wake up call for me. After service, I went down to the alter and just cried out to God. I knew that trying to handle all my stresses, worries, and struggles on my own was not working, and I was just feeling emotionally drained. I knew I needed to surrender to God and ask Him to take my burdens. And you know what? God answers prayers.

While I was at the alter praying, Janice Dickinson came over to me and started praying for me and talking to me. I have been stressing so much lately about my future and college. I know what God has shown me He wants me to do, but I have no idea where, and it has really been frustrating me. I've been feeling like even though I've been praying about what He wants me to do, I feel like I'm missing something. Janice had some amazing words that I KNOW came from God, because she told me that she felt that God was showing her that even though God has shown me part of what He has in store for me and not everything, it doesn't mean I'm not listening or missing anything. It will all come in His timing. WOW! Talk about PERFECT TIMING! How great is our God! Here I've been stressing and getting mad at myself for thinking I've been missing part of God's plan when He just hasn't shown everything He wants for me yet, and I need to trust in His timing and keep on praying and going after Him. (I guess God is trying to teach me patience too; boy do I need it. :P)

After praying and talking with Janice, I just felt this overwhelming peace and I just cried even more. God spoke to me through Janice and it was exactly what I needed at the right time. I really needed that reassurance from God that I wasn't missing part of His plan for my life. Ever since then, I've had such a wonderful peace and joy within me! I feel like God gave me that pick-me-up that I've needed for so long. :) Another thing that Gary and Janice talked about was perseverance. Persevering in all circumstances, all situations, no matter where you are in your walk with God, and that really stuck out to me. Even though I've had some hard trials I've been through, one thing I did was I never gave up on God. Even when times were so hard and I wanted to give up, I pressed on. And the reward for my perseverance, is true joy and peace. 

I just want to encourage you, if you're going through a trial right now, whether it be physical, emotional, circumstantial, or whatever, don't give up. No matter what you're going through, God will help you through it. Even though right now things may be awful and you just want to give up hope about everything, persevere! God rewards us for our perseverance, and having faith in Him. The pain and suffering does not last forever. I am living proof of it. :)

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work  so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4 (NIV)   

Also, you should check out this song. It has helped me through my trials and helps me to have faith in God and remember that I am someone worth dying for. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSoAkJXjxiU

Lazarus Tomb

This past Friday, I went with my church to help with this ministry we do at a coffee house called Lazarus Tomb. The neighborhood is not the safest or best neighborhood, but that is a great location for the coffee shop so we can minister to people! My church helps with this ministry either once a month or every other month, and I have heard that it is such a great experience. After hearing about it, I told myself I would go to the next one.

Friday afternoon, I was in a really bad mood all day (you know, one of those moods where you just feel grumpy and you don't know why? :P), and really didn't want to do anything at all. I wasn't even sure about going to Lazarus Tomb. Even though I wasn't feeling my best, I still felt God whispering in my heart that I really need to go. I've had many experiences where God has told me to do something and I've not listened to Him and I end up regretting and feeling convicted later about it. I knew no matter how I was feeling, if God wants me to do something, I need to listen to Him and not listen to my own feelings. These feelings I was having, I knew it was the devil trying to get to me, so I knew that tonight God had so many great things in store.

When we got to the Coffeehouse, I started to get excited. The coffeehouse is small, but it was so cute and I just felt this peacefulness whenever I was inside. It was so cool. :) I was privileged to go in a van with Pastor Anthony and two other people to drive through the neighborhood and pick up kids to bring to the Coffeehouse. I was nervous because I knew that I would have to talk to complete strangers in a neighborhood that seems unsafe and scary, and I was totally freaked out.

While we were driving, we saw a man walking and Pastor Anthony decided to pick him up and we'd take him home. His name was Lester, and he seemed to be in his early 40s and a little bit out there, if you know what I mean. But we talked with him about his family, and he was telling us how no matter what we said we couldn't convince him about Jesus, but instead of giving up, we just kept talking to him, and before we dropped him off, we decided to pray for him. This guy had no hope at all in God, and it just broke my heart. It was really eye opening to see how people who have never grown up in the church and see how they feel about God. After we prayed for Lester, we let him off in this alley and he just kept on walking. I will never forget that moment when we picked up Lester and prayed for him. God really showed me how lost our world really is, and how we need to reach out to people more and stop sitting around not doing anything.

The next place we went was to this apartment complex where we saw kids running around everywhere. Pastor Anthony told us to go over to the people and ask if they have kids and invite them to Lazarus Tomb. When he said that, I felt like I was going to throw up. No joke. I felt like I couldn't do this at all by myself, but then I remembered God was with me and He would help me have the courage to talk to these people. You know what happened? As I walking towards these people,I still felt fear within me. But I didn't let that stop me. I talked with a couple of the parents and some of the kids who were older. I started talking with these girls Claudia, Tamika, and Taleah. (Tamika and Taleah are twins and they are so funny!). And then, out of the blue, this little boy comes up to me and just takes my hand. His name was Dante and he is 4 years old. He is just such a love muffin. He's so funny and rambunctious. :) I knew just by talking and hanging out with these kids that tonight would be a great night. :)

The church van was PACKED with kids we picked up, and everyone was talking in the van and was so excited about going to the coffeehouse. When we got there, all the kids piled out of the van and there were kids all over the place and after we arrived more kids would get dropped off for the ministry. I'd say we had about 20 or so kids there. The first thing we all did was sing Father Abraham (it was a hip hop version), and the kids LOVED IT! Some of the kids were too shy to get up and dance and sing but all the kids were having a good time laughing and singing or just watching. Then we did a short program for the kids, Pastor Anthony talked about gum and how gum can stand for God Understands Me. G-U-M. Isn't that cool!? I thought that was really neat. Then there was snack for the kids, and we played this game where you had to squeeze water from a sponge in one bucket into another bucket. It was a very wet game but the kids really enjoyed it. :) Throughout the night I'd try to talk with different kids, and I started talking with this one little boy Brian. He was just cute as a button! I found out that he also had two brothers there, and they came last time we did the coffeehouse ministry. Brian was such an energetic, talkative boy. He even asked me if I could come to his house and ride bikes with him and pull him in a wagon. It was the most adorable thing ever. :)

The saddest part of the night was when we had to take the kids back to the apartment complex. I didn't want the night to end and you could tell the kids were having so much fun. On the way back, the kids made a little song to "God Understand Me!" and screamed and sang it all the way to the apartments. It was so awesome! All the kids talked about was how much fun they had and kept asking if we were coming back. After we made sure the kids got inside their houses, we went back to the van, and Pastor Anthony told us that the one girl I talked with a lot when we came earlier, Claudia, was telling her stepmom how much fun she had tonight and couldn't wait to go back.


I'm so glad I listened to God and went to Lazarus Tomb tonight. I'm so glad I got to be involved in this ministry and that we had an impact on these kids lives. I hope that I am able to go back again when my church goes and that I'll see those kids again. Even though their circumstances may not be the greatest, they're still children of God and they are still some of the greatest kids ever.

When God lays something on your heart that He wants you to do, just do it. Don't hesitate. Listen to Him, and it will be so rewarding. :)

Youth Convention 2011!

I don't even know where to begin with this post. There is so much that I want to say, but I'm not even sure how I want to say it. One thing I do know is that this past weekend at Youth Convention is one weekend that God really changed my life and showed Himself to me, and I will never forget it.

The first night, the speaker Robert Madu (who is an AMAZING speaker!) talked about "The Frustrations of our Generation." He talked a lot about how when we have a powerful or life-changing moment with God, like on a retreat or at youth convention, we need to use that experience that we had to show others what God is doing through us back at home. A lot of times, we'll go on a retreat with our church, and God will do something powerful in our lives and we get so fired up for God, but when we come home, we usually slip back into our old ways and act like God did nothing on that trip or He really didn't impact us that much. I know this because I've done that. I've been on retreats and God will do something life-changing and I'll have such a powerful experience with God, but when I go back home, you're back to reality where life is not easy and sometimes it's not always easy to rely on God and follow Him. But like Robert Madu said, we have to take our experience that we had with God, and show other people that experience! Don't just hold onto it in the back of your mind and not tell anyone. When something good happens to you, you want to share it with others, right? Just like that, when you have an amazing experience with God, share it with others! Whenever you feel like you can't go on and that experience with God was just a one time thing, that's the devil trying to get to you. He's trying to get in your head and tell you that even though you had a great experience with God, you can't keep that feeling when you're at home. Let me tell you something. THAT IS A COMPLETE LIE! The devil is so good at lying to us, and he twists everything good in our lives and tries to make them either not lasting or just not good. Don't listen to the devil, listen to God and keep relying and trusting in Him, even when the devil is trying to bring you down. God is stronger and more powerful than the devil.

Another thing Robert Madu talked about that really stuck out to me was when he was talking about bondage to sin. We all have bondage to some kind of sin in our lives. We are created to walk in the freedom that God has for us. God wants us to live in freedom with Him. I love when Robert Madu said, "When sin becomes our normal, we will always go back to it. We need to let the Lord do a transformation in us and give us real freedom, not fake freedom through dysfunction." This really hit me. Real freedom. Do you know what real freedom is? Real freedom, is God's forgiveness. We need God's forgiveness to set us free from the sin that holds us back from living free and at peace with God. What is fake freedom? Fake freedom, is basically living for the worldly things that may seem satisfying at first, but they are only temporary and won't last. Living in fake freedom, is basically living as though sin is normal, and like Robert Madu said, when sin becomes our normal, we always go back to it. I think what he was saying is that when we have fake freedom, we have asked God to forgive us from our sins at some point in our lives, but we have walked away from God and have been living in sin that it's part of our daily routine and we think nothing of it, like brushing our teeth. God doesn't want us to have this mindset. He wants us to live in real freedom with Him, where we ask Him to be the Lord of our lives and to completely forgive us of all of our sin that we have and to take all of our burdens off of us.

Lately, I've been having a lot of baggage. I've been holding onto a lot of my past mistakes and I just haven't been able to let them go. Even though I've asked God to forgive me of my sins and my mistakes and to take all of my burdens, I've still been holding onto them. But God wants me to live in real freedom with Him and completely surrender everything to Him. I cried my eyes out that night, and I ran down to the alter and just bawled my eyes out. I didn't want to keep holding onto this baggage, I wanted to surrender it over to God and live in real freedom with God. After I surrendered everything to God and asked for His real freedom, I felt the most amazing peace that I had ever felt in my entire life. After completely surrendering to God, I felt like that I was finally feeling that real freedom that God wants me to live in.

This weekend was exactly what I needed. God knew I really needed this weekend, and I went after Him with all that I had and I felt Him. Now that I'm home, I'm going to try to not give up or let the devil get inside my head, and keep being on fire for God, just like I was at convention. :)

Stand Up For What You Believe In

Recently, I was in a situation where my faith and what I believed in was tested. I've been in similar situations before, but this time, instead of just ignoring the situation, I decided that it was time for me to take action and stand up for what I believe.

A couple days ago, I was on facebook and I got a notification about this guy commenting on one of my very good friend's picture. When I saw his comment, I felt angry inside. He decided that he was going to comment on my friend's picture and use God's name in vain. Usually when people use God's name in vain and say "oh my god" or just throwing around God's name in a disrespectful way, I usually just ignore it and not say anything about it. Yes, it would annoy me when people would do that, but I always kept my mouth shut because I thought I would get yelled at by the person saying that (especially since usually people who use God's name in vain aren't Christians and don't think much of it at all.) or they would beat me up or something. This time, when I saw this random guy I don't even know commenting on my friend's picture using God's name in vain, it really just made me mad. I decided that I wanted to be bold and speak my mind, and I asked this kid if he wouldn't use God's name in vain, and I'm sure you could guess what happened next. This guy decided to blow up on me saying that he doesn't believe in God and how he can do whatever he wanted and that he was only trying to compliment her, and he felt like I was trying to shove my beliefs on him. I basically just told him that I wasn't trying to force my beliefs on him at all and I was stating that his comment was offending and he could have said something else to comment on my friend's picture.

You're probably wondering where the hackin' I'm going with this; I do have a point don't worry. In the Bible, there's the Ten Commandments, the basic rules everyone should live by, and one of those rules is "Do not use God's name in vain." What exactly does that mean? It means if you are not saying God's name in a way that is pleasing to Him or if it is disrespectful to Him (ie oh my god, for the love of god, etc.) then you shouldn't be saying it. It is totally offending to God, and to us Christians, we should also be offended when people use God's name in vain. I notice a lot of times Christians do get offended and annoyed when non-Christians use God's name in vain, but they don't speak up. God tells us in the Bible that we are called to stand up for what is right, and we are also supposed to stand up for what we believe in. 

"Stand up for Me among the people you meet and the Son of Man will stand up for you before all God's angels." ~Luke 12:8 (The Message)


Basically what this verse is saying is if we stand up for God among the people around us, God is going to stand up for us and He will have our backs. I think that God was really testing my faith and seeing if I really am a follower of Him by putting that situation with my friend's facebook picture to see if I would stand up for Him. And you know what? I feel like speaking up and telling that kid how I didn't like how he was using God's name in vain and how he could have said something else was my way of standing up for God and showing Him that I really do want to follow Him and do what's right. Usually I am not that bold and I wouldn't speak that openly about my beliefs. I just keep my thoughts to myself, but I really felt God tugging on my heart that it was time for me to speak up. And God gave me the courage and boldness to stand up for Him, because I never would have spoken up on my own. If it were up to me, I would just keep my mouth shut and not say anything, but God had other plans in mind.




I just want to encourage you, if you are friends with someone, or even just talking to a stranger and they are saying or doing something that you strongly feel isn't right, stand up for what you believe in. Even if they do not agree with what you believe in, they will respect you for taking a stand for what you believe in. And if they don't, then they are just complete fools who really do need Jesus. We are called to be lights of God, and by standing up for what we believe in, people will notice and they will want to know more about what you believe in. Even though we're always so worried about what other people would think of us if we speak up when people are using God's name in vain, it shouldn't matter! Other people's opinions of you shouldn't matter to you. The most important opinion that you should be focusing and worrying about is God's. When I let go of and stopped thinking about others' opinions of me, God was able to use me. I don't care what that fool thought of me when I was speaking up for God, I just know it was the right thing to do and that someday God will bless me for doing the right thing to stand up for Him. Don't be so concerned about what the world thinks of you, and focus on what God thinks of you and what you know is right and wrong.


I would just like to end this post with an encouraging verse for you guys. I just want you to remember, when you stand up for God and for what's right, He will bless you abundantly and it will also strengthen your faith. :)


"Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them (other people) a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; He won't leave you." ~Deuteronomy 31:6 (The Message)

The Future

Something that's really been on my mind a lot lately is my future. At one time or another, we all think about our futures; what we're going to be when we grow up, who our best friends will be in 10 years, who we'll marry, etc. Well for me, what's really been on my mind is what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life after high school. I'm already halfway done with high school, and it totally freaks me out! I remember when I was younger I would think to myself "Oh, I have a long time to think about what I want to do with my life." but now, that's not exactly the case. A lot of people have been asking me what I want to do with the rest of my life, where I want to go to college, what I want to major in, or all of the above. I'm going to be completely honest with you, I have absolutely no idea what I want to do. I mean, yes I have some ideas in my head of what I MIGHT want to do, but I really don't have a clue, and that really freaks me out because a lot of my friends have been looking at colleges, and even going on college tours, and I've done no preparation at all. I know that sounds super bad since I'm getting older and all, but I've really just been trying to focus on doing well in high school so that I can get into a good college. Even though I'm cyberschooled, it. is. tough. But I think that having good grades and learning and doing my best is important right? :)

I'm getting side-tracked. Sorry :P As I was saying, thinking about my future has been totally scaring the living daylights out of me. (Don't make fun of my old fashioned phrases. Please and thank you.) I feel like time has been flying by and I can't believe how fast I'm growing up. This week I got my driver's license (WOOT WOOT! :D), and I remember when I was little I always dreamed of being able to drive, and now I am finally able to do that. That's so crazy. And my 17th birthday is tomorrow! Man, I feel really really old. :P Even though time seems to be flying by me and I'm getting older, I need to remember that God has everything in His hands. He knows exactly what I'm going to be doing after high school and for the rest of my life. He has it all under control! Instead of getting myself all stressed out and worried about what I'm going to be doing with my life in a year and a half, I need to trust God and in what He wants me to do. When I feel apprehensive about the future, God is there to calm my fears and give me the peace and the strength that I need to keep on going and not give up.

I know that this is all scattered and all over the place, but I just want to encourage you guys that if you don't know exactly what you're doing with the rest of your life, that's okay! It's not the end of the world. Just ask God to guide you and to show you the amazing plan that He has for your life. :)

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and to not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." ~Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message)

I know that these are the same verse in different translations, but I love Jeremiah 29:11, and it's so encouraging to me. I also like how The Message version puts it. God is going to take care of us. He's not going to abandon us, He's going to be right there with us every step of this journey that we call life. If you feel stressed about the future or what's going to happen next in your life, read Jeremiah 29:11 and remember that God has it all in His hands. :)

Let's give blogging a try!

Hey guys! So, lately I've noticed that a lot of my friends have started writing blogs or they've had blogs, and I would think to myself, "hey! that looks like fun! maybe I should try it!" or "I really like reading their blogs, I wish I could do that." but I always thought that I never would have anything good to say or that no one would care about what I had to say. Well, I've decided that maybe I should give this whole blogging thing a try! 

How did this idea strike my interest? Well I'll explain. (:

For the past week or so, I've felt a huge tug on my heart (one of those tugs that you know is God telling you to do something, but you aren't sure it's really Him). I feel like God is telling me that I need to get out of my comfort zone and do something for Him. Yes, I've been out of my comfort zone going on a missions trip, but the type of comfort zone I'm talking about is a little different. The comfort zone I'm talking about is expressing my feelings and giving my own personal insight or advice to people. You may read this and think "WHAT is this girl talking about? How is that getting out of your comfort zone?" Well you see, I have a hard time expressing my feelings and talking to people. For those of you who know me, you would disagree because I don't act that way at all. I'm a very friendly, loud, and sometimes obnoxious person and I say what I think all the time, but when it comes to expressing my true feelings deep inside of me, I'm a completely different person. A lot of people don't know this about me, but I have a very difficult time expressing my true feelings and talking about my struggles, problems, etc. with other people. I always hide away my feelings and push them aside because I don't want to talk about them because either I feel like they're stupid and unimportant, or I feel like no one is really willing to listen or care. I've really been feeling God tell me that I need to get out of this box that I've kept myself in, and that I need to listen to Him. Instead of always holding in my emotions and feelings and thoughts, He wants me to share them with others. Even though I am terrified of this idea, I want to follow God with all my heart, which means listening to what He's calling me to do, no matter how difficult or scary it might be.

God has also been giving me this passion  to reach out to other people who are hurting. I want to be a light to those people and show them the love of God and how there is hope in Him. And I also know for my sake, that I need to let out my feelings so I don't explode, so why not do this through a blog for others to read! Maybe there are other people out there who feel the same way as I do and maybe I could somehow help them. :)

Basically to sum this all up, I want to be a light for God, and I feel like He is calling me to do so through this blog. I don't exactly know what I'm going to write about for each post, I'm just going to write whatever God places on my heart and what I feel He wants me to write.

I hope you guys enjoyed my first post and I didn't waste your time! Be on the lookout for more. :)